I Was Still Functioning. I Didn't Realize How Sick Stress Was Making Me.

There was a period of my life when, from the outside, I probably looked fine. I was working, running a business, taking care of responsibilities, showing up for people, and getting things done. If you had asked me how I was doing, I probably would have given you the same answer I hear from so many people today:

"Busy & stressed, but I'm good."

Except I wasn't good.

I was tired and increasingly exhausted. I wasn't sleeping well. My body was tight all the time, my gut wasn't right, and my breathing had become shallow. There were days when I felt like I was running on fumes, but I kept going because that's what I knew how to do.

That's the part of my story I want to talk about, because I think there are a lot of people living there right now. They're not lying in a hospital bed. They're not necessarily missing work. Their lives haven't completely fallen apart.

They're functioning. But functioning and being well are two very different things.

Stress Had Become So Normal That I Stopped Calling It Stress

At the time, I had a lot going on. Work, finances, relationships, responsibilities, growing a business and trying to be there for other people, most importantly my son and feeling like I was failing at that. I was constantly trying to keep everything moving forward, and there were periods when I was working 15- or 16-hour days.

When you're living like that, taking care of yourself becomes incredibly easy to push off until tomorrow. I'll work out tomorrow. I'll eat better tomorrow. I'll catch up on sleep this weekend. I'll meditate when things calm down. I'll take some time for myself after I finish this project.

The problem is that tomorrow keeps moving, and things rarely calm down on their own.

I had practices in my life that I knew helped me, exercise, meditation, eating well, taking time to reset, but as work became more demanding, those were often the first things to go.

Looking back, I can see how backwards that was. The very things that helped me handle my life were the things I removed because I was too busy handling my life.

And maybe some of this sounds familiar.

You wake up tired and immediately reach for your phone. Before your feet even hit the floor, you're already thinking about work. There's an email you need to answer, a problem you need to solve, someone who needs something from you.

So, you get moving. Maybe you grab coffee. Maybe breakfast happens, maybe it doesn't. Then come the calls, meetings, clients, employees, family, bills, deadlines and decisions. Somehow, it's 6:00 at night, but you're not really done.

Your body might be sitting at the dinner table, but your mind is still at work. You're thinking about tomorrow, checking your phone, replaying a conversation, thinking about money or everything that didn't get finished.

Then you finally get into bed exhausted, and suddenly your brain wants to have a meeting.

That was the cycle I had created. And because I could still function inside of it, I didn't fully appreciate what it was costing me.

My Body Was Giving Me Clues

Looking back, the signs were there long before things got really bad. My neck and shoulders carried tension. My hips were tight. My breathing was shallow. I was grinding my teeth. My gut was giving me problems. My sleep wasn't what it should have been. I was anxious, tired and eventually started experiencing panic attacks.

But I could explain every one of those things away.

"It's just stress."

It'll pass. I just need to get through this week. I need a vacation. I need more sleep. I should start working out again. I need to eat better. Things will settle down eventually.

There was always an explanation, and there was always something that seemed more important to deal with than me.

This is something I understand much better today about people who carry a lot of responsibility. When you've spent years solving problems, you can become incredibly good at functioning when you don't feel good.

You're tired? You work anyway. You didn't sleep? Grab another coffee. Something hurts? Keep moving. You're stressed? Handle it. Someone needs you? Show up.

There can even be a certain pride in being the person who can handle a lot. I had that.

And to be clear, resilience is a good thing. Discipline is a good thing. Being able to operate under pressure can be a tremendous strength.

What I didn't understand was the difference between handling pressure and recovering from pressure.

I could handle an enormous amount of pressure. What I wasn't doing very well was coming back down afterward.

Eventually, everything started accumulating.

Then My Body Got Louder

There wasn't one morning when I woke up and suddenly understood what was happening. It escalated over time.

I started feeling worse. Then the physical symptoms became frightening. Then came anxiety about the symptoms themselves. Then more symptoms, more fear, and eventually trips to the emergency room.

I went to the ER eight times in roughly three months. There was even an ambulance ride. I had blood work, ultrasounds, urine tests, more testing, more appointments and more questions. At one point, I was taking seven or eight pills a day and still felt like shit.

One of the hardest parts was not having one simple answer that explained everything I was experiencing.

I remember thinking:

What the hell is happening to me?

When your body suddenly doesn't feel familiar anymore, fear can take over very quickly. Every sensation gets your attention. Every new symptom makes you wonder whether something serious is happening. You wonder whether something was missed. You wonder if you're ever going to feel normal again.

That was a very different Mike from the guy you see today playing softball at 52.

And that's why I wanted to tell this part of the story.

My last article talked about being back on the softball field, playing tennis, lifting again, moving again and enjoying my life. But if I only show you that version, I'm skipping over the part that may matter most to someone who's still in the middle of it.

Maybe You're Not Falling Apart. Maybe You're Just Tired of Feeling This Way.

Maybe you're still going to work every day. You're still running the company. You're still taking care of the kids. You're still paying the bills. You're still going to the gym when you can. You're still getting everything done.

But you don't feel like yourself anymore.

Maybe you're exhausted but can't shut your brain off at night, you smoke weed or drink to fall asleep. Maybe your stomach is constantly bothering you. Your shoulders are tight all the time. You're more irritable with the people you love. You're relying on caffeine to get through the afternoon. Sunday afternoon already feels like Monday morning.

Maybe you finally sit down at night, physically exhausted, while your mind is still running through everything you need to do tomorrow.

And maybe you've been telling yourself exactly what I used to tell myself:

"I'm just stressed."

That's why I think we need to be careful about dismissing stress as something we simply have to tolerate.

I used to think stress was mostly something happening in my head. Today, I understand it as part of a much bigger picture. Stress can affect sleep, eating habits, muscle tension, digestion, energy, mood, exercise and recovery. And our behaviors when we're stressed, sleeping less, eating differently, moving less, working longer and never really disconnecting, can compound the problem.

That doesn't mean every headache, stomach issue, sleep problem, chest sensation or other physical symptom should be blamed on stress. New, severe or concerning symptoms deserve appropriate medical attention. I went to the hospital because what I was experiencing needed to be evaluated.

But once serious causes were being investigated and I began looking at my life as a whole, I also had to confront something I hadn't wanted to confront:

The way I was living wasn't sustainable for me anymore.

Something had to change.

You Don't Have to Wait Until Everything Falls Apart

The biggest change for me wasn't a supplement, a diet, one workout or one meditation. It was realizing that I couldn't continue asking my body and mind to absorb enormous amounts of pressure while giving them very little opportunity to recover.

I wish I had understood that before the emergency room visits.

You don't need to end up in the ER before your exhaustion matters. You don't need to experience a panic attack before your stress deserves your attention. You don't need to completely burn out before poor sleep matters. And you don't need your body to force you to stop before you start asking some different questions.

If you're reading this and thinking, "This sounds a little too much like me," don't jump to conclusions about what might be wrong. Instead, start paying attention.

How are you sleeping? How are you eating? How much are you working? When was the last time you actually felt rested? When was the last time you spent an hour without feeling like you should be doing something? Have you gradually stopped doing the things that used to make you feel good because you've become too busy?

And maybe the biggest question:

What has your body been telling you that you've gotten really good at ignoring?

Those are questions I wish I had asked myself sooner.

Two years ago, I thought my problem was that something had suddenly gone terribly wrong with my body. Today, I can look back and see a much longer story leading up to that period, a life with a tremendous amount of pressure, too little recovery and warning signs I repeatedly pushed past.

I didn't go from feeling healthy to eight ER visits overnight. There was a long road before that. I just didn't realize I was already on it.

And that's where the next part of my story really begins.

Stress, Burnout & Recovery Support in Danvers, MA

If chronic stress, poor sleep, exhaustion, anxiety, low energy, or difficulty recovering have become part of your everyday life, it may be worth looking at the bigger picture. At Danvers Wellness Center in Danvers, Massachusetts, we work with busy professionals, business owners, and adults who want to better understand how stress, sleep, nutrition, movement, recovery, and lifestyle habits may be affecting how they feel and function. Our whole-person approach is designed to help people build healthier, more sustainable habits for stress management, nervous system regulation, physical recovery, energy, sleep, and overall well-being. Danvers Wellness Center serves clients from Danvers, Beverly, Peabody, Salem, Middleton, Topsfield, Wenham, and communities throughout the North Shore of Massachusetts. Visit DanversWellnessCenter.com to learn more about our services and RESET program.